1/5/2026 Test

Using this post to see if my fucking sidebar will show up on my main page again.

Fuck you, Google. 

Update: working very hard to get my "Punch" post to work. It does not want to work. 

1/4/2026 "Singin' in the Rain", Identity, Twitter, Autism Maybe

Tonight I watched Singin' in the Rain (1952), a movie I've seen over and over again since I was young. As with many of the classic musical films I've been rewatching this past year, I feel I have a proper grasp on the plot now. How interesting to see a film I've always taken for granted while newly aware of how people feel about it! On Twitter, which I have yet to escape, I find myself surrounded by the discourse of real movie fans - about storytelling, about acting, about visuals (a lot about visuals). Through my relatively brief career as Person on the Internet I have flitted from circle to circle and platform to platform and discovered what people who care about art actually think. For example, it was only a few years ago that I truly grasped that people care about pop music. The little It's a Wonderful Life (1946) craze this holiday season clued me in to the fact that people care about old films. Isn't it crazy? I feel like up till recently we were all about critiquing the stories of the past and building a better future - but then, I also didn't know we cared about the music that was currently on the radio - I suppose I don't know what I thought. 

I'm picking this apart too much. I don't know to what extent I should assume I am an outsider. Do you feel this too? I guess this is just called "discovering new interests". But this kind of stuff comes with big adjustments. It changes who you are. And the internet circles one trips into aren't always so insular. Sometimes they're temporal stages of how the internet on average thinks - like what behavior is considered acceptable at a party, or what's funny and not funny, or if we should like Ice Spice.

It's like this. It is very difficult to be naive. When you don't know how things work, you have to depend on others to teach you about them. I do not have the privilege of filtering out a piece of knowledge or advice. I hardly ever have the authority to judge what person's opinion is worth my time. Every opinion is a very big deal. An opinion can be a grand and satisfying affirmation, or it can be a cruel rejection. The rejections hurt bad. Scully from The X Files said, in the season 1 episode "Beyond the Sea", in which her father dies, that "there are other fathers". There are fathers on the internet, opinion leaders, upon whose word I hang, even if I have never interacted with them once in my life, on- or offline.

I feel myself overflowing with beliefs that are not mine. In the case of morality, I want to be influenced: I almost always leave myself at the whim of someone else's idea of what is right, which causes me much confusion and fear. But I'm distressed by what I thought about the color grading of Singin' in the Rain. On film Twitter, the vibrant Technicolor look of old movies is commonly compared to the muddy color grading of modern shows. To some extent I had probably just learned some new way to express my love for the movie, but I also felt inauthentic. I could not tell if I really in my heart of hearts cared about color grading. I never would have before! 

I'm not exactly sure how I should feel about Singin' in the Rain, or It's a Wonderful Life, or any movie I've seen lately. I mean, I know how I feel about them, especially since the latter made me cry. But I feel my own opinion to be tainted by the opinions of others.  

So do I give a fuck about Charli XCX? - perhaps there's a remnant of arbitrary elitism there. I used to listen to Mendelssohn 24/7 and now I care about Charli XCX? But also... do I give a fuck about Charli XCX? And do you understand my meaning here?

My journey these past few years has been to discover my own opinion, to discover how to feel strongly about things. I think I've felt strongly about things in the past, but not often so strongly as to ever seriously think those feelings mattered. Nowadays I fixate on opinions and the process of forming them. I form them loudly and carefully. I want to be honest and I don't want to be misrepresented. Please don't be mad at me.

What's your favorite old movie? 

1/4/2026 Endless Consonance and NCTs (Non-chord Tones)

WARNING: this blog post assumes some knowledge of the K-pop group NCT.

One of my first exposures to the Soviet composer Dmitri Shostakovich was this YouTube video about his fugue in A major from his 24 Preludes and Fugues. This particular piece is unique because it technically contains no harmonic dissonance; that is, within the context of every chord, implied or substantiated, no non-chord tones are played. That is, if the chord is A major, the melody will only contain the notes of an A major triad. There's a lot to be said about the subversiveness of writing an entirely consonant piece, especially considering Shostakovich's life and character. (Shostakovich composed the vast majority of his work while engaged with the complicated politics of the Soviet Union; scholarship on his music tends to focus on his relationship with the state and Stalin. For further reading I suggest The Lives and Times of the Great Composers by Michael Steen.) But the fugue a rather pretty work, which begs the question: to what point can one presume that something perfect and sweet is hiding something darker?

Hi guys. Today I want to talk about NCT's predebut track "Switch", featuring SR15B, which was later released in NCT 127's first mini album. 

I'm fucking obsessed with it. Look at the boys go. Half of these boys aren't even members of NCT 127 - not even Johnny or Doyoung (the latter of whom sings Most of the song), who join the group after the release of their first mini album. One of them, Hansol, doesn't even end up in NCT. What are we doing here. Why couldn't this have been released under the banner of NCT U?

What is there to smile about? Misogyny?

I came to write this blog post because "Switch" fascinates me musically. It is not entirely consonant like Shosty's fugue, but it contains a similar sickly sweetness given that it has no real chord progression: it remains in the tonic and never changes chords. One may argue that since some phrases end on non-chord tones (NCTs), different chords are implied, but the instrumental itself does not back that claim up. It remains doing its little bleep-bloop thing. 

Speaking of the instrumental - I find it a charming reminder that NCT did not have their start in the so-called "noise music" which many K-pop enjoyers associate with their "neo" branding. NCT 127 in particular could be the kings of 2010s corny with their similar songs "0 Mile", "Replay (PM 01:27)", and even the more downtempo "Sun and Moon". Not that I mind it. Perhaps "Switch" has its own subversiveness, though not quite as "in-your-face" in nature as their 2021 title track "Sticker". I for one recall the new "open" pop sound of 2014-2016 feeling very new and forward in comparison to the density of late 2000s and early 2010s hits. But then, I was like, ten.

What is "Switch" trying to do? For one, it's a dance song. Why else would all of NCT as it existed in 2016 be participating in a music video for a song that has maybe three people singing on it? It's also cute. It's fun. It brings a little taste of summer to the wintertime. 

Really what I'm asking is how far we are meant to read into "Switch". It's far easier to pull back the curtain of Shostakovich's fugue if one knows the context behind it (and if one ignores the possibility that Shosty could've just gotten a consonant feeling and/or been happy) - yet my father said the fugue felt like walking on clouds, and said that "Switch" was the work that came off as creepy. That's crazy. What do you think? I don't have any answers myself. So, as is on-brand for my casual writing, I leave this blog post empty of a conclusion. Like and subscribe and stream Shostakovich.

9/8/2025 Brief "J" by Jaehyun Review

Reposted from Tumblr on 1/4/2026.

I'm a lover of Jaehyun's voice, and I really like his "J" album (Can't Get You especially), but I had two big problems with it... one the songs felt fragmented and two the English lyrics did not hit. Like I for one feel like the mass anger kpop stans have over songs being less than 3 minutes is arbitrary and ridiculous, but man some of these songs being, like, 3:30 made them feel like teasers of a song. I think because Jaehyun is so suited to a more classic style he should be allowed to like. Take his time!!! Sing for forever!!! Do ad libs!!! Let's get an instrumental solo in here 

Also, as it is with pretty much all English lyrics written for kpop artists, the words here felt shallow and ill-suited to the music. 

What purpose does the glass of wine serve in this metaphor other than to evoke sexy imagery??? It's like you want the aesthetic of a love song without any love in it. The terrible burden of being an idol stops a good chunk of this album from going anywhere, which again makes me sad because Jaehyun is really talented.

Anyway this is Can't Get You propaganda #yay