1/13/2026 I Hate Balance

I do. I hate that most life advice involves it. I hate "not black and white, but gray", I hate "in moderation". I am sure it helps many people but it means nothing to me. I know I sound so stupid and naive. But I cannot live my life in that way, oscillating back and forth until I find a vague mushy idea of how to do things. I would like a goal.

For example: "don't be so hard on yourself." Alright, then. How hard should I still be on myself? When do I let myself go free, and when do I draw back? - seeing as letting oneself go is especially addictive. And when I let myself go, I disappoint others. Okay, so take the hint and crawl back to the center. What center? What do I crawl back to that is tangible besides complete self-loathing? If I ever let go of myself again, I will disappoint people as I have countless times before. You must understand there is no in-between for me. It doesn't exist. Give me a goal, goddamnit!

Living in the horrible gray mush is so upsetting. There's a Guster song called "What You Wish For" that has the line "Not black and white / but where the colors are". I think I like the colors. There are infinite colors, but you can name each one of them. "Aim for #ff78d2." I'm sure there are little variations of it in different programs, but it leaves much less room for error than gray. And I can work towards that.

1/12/2026 A Serious Look at NCT Dream's "BTTF"

I'm back at school 2day. I am seeking this music degree exclusively so I can make fun of NCT Dream.

I see Jaemin in my nightmares.

I'm kidding... I like them a lot... About once a month I get a little obsessed with a Dream member for a few hours. Usually it's Jaemin. Like what the fuck is up with Jaemin? Fucking love that guy. Renjun is always a favorite - Jisung is a fascinating little wisp of a boy - Haechan commands attention - et cetera. 

I would say I am probably more a fan of NCT 127's sound than NCT Dream's, but I do enjoy the latter. I still need to take a closer listen to their "DREAMSCAPE" full album, not to be confused with the "DREAM()SCAPE" mini album, which I do not like nearly as much. (Okay, I just really dislike "Smoothie". The rest are fine - especially "Carat Cake", which is a hit.)

NCT Dream have a very distinct sound owing to their very distinct members. Their rappers tend toward a harsh, high, and raspy sound; Chenle and Renjun have exceedingly gentle and clear voices; Haechan is rough and agile; and Jisung is Kermit the frog. Dream's songs also tend to change up a lot, even when changing up isn't the main attraction. With songs like "Glitch Mode" and "ISTJ" the change-ups are obvious and infrequent, but with "BTTF" and "Chiller" they are not.

I actually love "Chiller". I think it does some really cool things musically and it gets me grooving. I have some critiques of it that I may post about later, but right now I want to report my opinion on "BTTF" (or Back to the Future), the prerelease for the "Go Back To The Future" album to which I listened on the way back to school. 

On first listen I got the impression that "BTTF" is to Dream what "Punch" is to 127: a song with an overall strong instrumental, but with elements that prevent it from staying with you. "BTTF" is more complete than "Punch" in that it doesn't awkwardly hesitate, but it also is characterized by the same strange busyness that jumbles it up in your mind.

Listen. I can get with NCT Dream's brand. My problem is that this is just a little too NCT Dream of a song for me. The group yelling - the sudden changes - the dwindling pockets of time in which the members who can sing are actually allowed to sing - God, especially the latter. I can get with an NCT Dream rap, but they are woven inescapably into every verse and chorus, and they are taking up more and more of each successive title track. 

Songs that are mostly or entirely rap are perfectly fine. Hell, I'm not saying you cannot have a song that alternates between rapping and singing; both art forms are equally as pleasing. But my patience for Jeno's endless toneless raspy yelling wanes by the hour, and so does even my patience for Jaemin, who I tolerate because I think he sounds silly; I am sick of being thrown back and forth between Chenle and Mark, Renjun and Jisung. At one point in the second verse the song dips unexpectedly into a dreamy little interlude and then goes straight back into the same beat with Jisung rapping. It's like a sick joke. God forbid I come into an NCT Dream song to hear singing!

You cannot even escape the raps in the chorus. That's really where I draw the line. To start a chorus with powerful singing and then to end it with a rap makes it feel like it's fading away, not a memorable and self-sufficient whole chorus but a glorified half-verse. 

Okay. My heart rate is going up. I need to relax. I liked a lot of things about this song, actually. 

• That synth! Sexy as fuck with that energetic beat.
• On a related note, the melodies! Because, again, there is little time allotted for the singers to sing, some of them feel like fragments, but they still are lovely, especially delivered by such powerful voices.
• "Ye-ye-whoa" is a striking little chant. Hate the "ra-ta-ta" parts, though.
• I really, really like Mark's raps here. The whole reason I gave this song a chance was a clip of his "That's a big decision" rap, which frankly gagged me.

Please don't cancel me. I like NCT Dream. They are just not making me very happy lately. I accept criticism on my observations.

 

1/11/2026 I Promise You Will Like These K-Pop Boys

Forget about what I said about the last post being posted on the 9th. It was posted on both the 9th AND the 10th, so it counts for both days.

Tonight I will utilize my internet anonymity for evil and enthusiastically pitch my favorite K-pop group to all 2 people who read my blog. They are called RIIZE. Their name is pronounced "rise" and is spelled as an awkward portmanteau of "rise" and "realize". They are wretched young princes suffering under a collective evil curse. Only you can free them by becoming one of their maybe twenty sane fans on planet Earth. 

The K-pop boy group landscape of the past few years has shifted dramatically toward an emphasis on dance, from what I have observed. In this aspect RIIZE are some of the best of the best. Before debut, they released a little ditty called "Siren" in which they jump around so rigorously they are unable to even lip-sync the lyrics properly.
 

 

 

Their other predebut song "Memories" is not to my personal taste, but I appreciate how it shows off their talent. Who are the talent, anyway?

RIIZE's existence came into public knowledge (I believe) from the removal of Osaki Shotaro and Jeong Sungchan from NCT, which is a whole other can of worms that may be compressed as such: the parent company of RIIZE, SM Entertainment, probably did not know how to manage them within the complicated NCT structure (NCT, if you didn't know, is a boy group currently composed of 25 total members and four fixed subunits).

Shotaro and Sungchan had already been essentially relegated to the role of leaders of the SM Rookies (as-yet-undebuted kids training to be idols under SM who occasionally modeled or performed), so this was to be a real fresh start for them. RIIZE officially debuted with seven members on September 4th, 2023, with their single "Get a Guitar".

 The RIIZE Guiiys, in age order.

• 

  Eunseok kind of looks like this all the time.

  The young man second to the left in the mouse costume, who rather looks like a mouse himself, is Osaki Shotaro (2001) from Japan, who was casted by SM for his extraordinary dancing skills. In their songs he usually raps, and in their performances he leads all the big parts and dance breaks.
• Song Eunseok (2001), who is dressed as a rock, was an SM Rookie, and had been training under SM since 2018. Eunseok raps, sings, stares at you with a disarming squint, and does deadpan comedy. I personally believe him to be the funniest.
• Normal gentleman with the sweet smile holding a little trophy in his hand is Jeong Sungchan (2001), who is six-foot-two and exceedingly athletic. Sungchan dances spectacularly, but he mostly raps. Here is his iconic "90's Love" rap from his NCT days, and here is him having to carry an encore for said song with zero audience and zero help from his coworkers.
• You can distinguish Park Wonbin (2002), who is in the pizza costume, by his long hair, wide beady eyes, and sheepish smile. Wonbin was an instant hit with the public from debut, owing to his good looks and frantic dance skills. Wonbin also serves as a main vocalist and he is very good. I like him a lot because he seems to be an anxious soul.
• Sharp-faced and joyous Hong Seunghan (2003) on the far right is also a dancing machine, one of three main dancers along with Shotaro and Wonbin. He was an SM Rookie like Eunseok, and his cheerful charm rivals even the more experienced Shotaro and Sungchan. He is not in the group anymore for reasons I will explain later; now he releases music under the name Xnghan with his dance group Xoul.

  

  Sohee has thick hair and fangs.

• Lee Sohee (2003) is the blond boy who is about to eat poor Seunghan's claw.  Sohee is the most talented singer of his generation of K-pop boys, in my opinion. His agility is especially remarkable - he tends high and his vibrato is fast, making his runs sound smooth and pleasant. He MC'd on a music show (on which K-pop groups give live performances) alongside ZEROBASEONE's Sung Hanbin and BOYNEXTDOOR's Myung Jaehyun (all these boygroup names are capitalized, I know). 
• Starfish with the wide grin on the far left is Lee Chanyoung (2004) or Anton Lee. His father was popular in the 90s in Korea as a singer and producer; his mother is a popular actress. He however grew up in New Jersey. Anton excels at swimming and music production. He has gained a lot of confidence on stage since debut and now sings as frequently in their songs as Wonbin and Sohee.  

RIIZE have some excellent songs under their belt, and they also have "Memories". A lot of them heavily feature bass and guitar, often played live by Anton and Wonbin. Their song "Another Life", which is one of the best K-pop songs I've ever heard, has a deliciously dramatic guitar solo. As they are still figuring out their musical identity, they have dipped their toes into many different genres, from house ("Impossible") to R&B ("Honestly") to UKG (?) ("Odyssey") to rage hip hop ("Fame" - mostly reflected in the instrumental) to ballad ("The End of the Day"). If you're a fan of TVXQ, they did a cute cover of "Hug" last winter. 

These princes were not in accord about the dress code.

RIIZE songs I especially recommend:

• "Talk Saxy" - probably not to everyone's taste, but to me and my friends (whose opinions are always right) it's exceedingly fun. Their outfits are also fucking fire.
• "Love 119" - an addictive song which anniversary I look forward to every January.
• "Lucky" - silly fun Japanese title track.
• "Be My Next" - Japanese b-side. An if-you-get-it-you-get-it type deal. 
• "Ember to Solar" - fun dramatic drum n bass with beautiful voices.
• "Another Life" - obviously.
• "Something's in the Water" - hypnotizing. Gentle, spooky little B-side.

On to the curse.

RIIZE have received intense scrutiny from the public, mostly because their company is a large and popular one. Since before their debut, they have been accused of smoking, drinking, dating both women and men, and talking shit about other idols. 

Several leaked photos, videos, and Instagram lives of Seunghan's revealed to the public that he at one point had an age-appropriate girlfriend and smoked underage. Soobin of TXT also flipped him off with his toe (ignore the content of the tweet itself). Rather more seriously, a clip of Soobin and Seunghan discussing Soobin's MC gig with LESSERAFIM's Eunchae was interpreted as derogatory toward Eunchae; to my knowledge this is false. In late November of 2023, just two months after RIIZE's official debut, Seunghan was put on hiatus from the group until further notice. Thus began the eleven-month period known as the Bu Heeju Nightmare.

Bu Heeju refers to the personification of the collective briize (pronounced "breeze"), RIIZE's fanbase. Abruptly, RIIZE's marketing shifted from "seven guys who love to chill and play sports" to "your six beautiful boyfriends", illustrated by the variety content they began to do. "You're dating Heeju? But I'm dating Heeju!" Ladies, ladies...

On October 11th, Seunghan returned to RIIZE and everyone cheered. Well, a lot of people cheered. Some very loud people did not. Only a few days later, on the 14th, before he had the chance to be officially seen with the rest of the group, he announced his permanent departure. It was hell on Earth to be a fan. Many fans boycotted their songs and activities for a long while. I boycotted until Seunghan officially debuted the next summer with dancers Jang Yul and Gu Kyohong as Xnghan&Xoul. The RIIZE boys have mentioned still being on good terms with Seunghan, who remains charming and silly despite having borne the brunt of a deluge of online hate.

The thing about this group (and Seunghan) is that they are not a loud group of people. To me it's rather absurd that they should be targeted by so many rumors which are either innocuous or false, and still be disdained or ignored by many K-pop fans. I am sure they are not perfect people and have done many things wrong in their life. Perhaps in the days to come one of them will fuck up majorly. I do believe, however, that the hate they have recieved thus far looks more and more stupid the more videos you watch of these guys. Even now, having grown more confident as public figures, they are a relatively soft-spoken group. They don't do much. They just sing and dance and wear sweatshirts incorrectly, as all K-pop boys should do.

Speaking of singing and dancing, here is them singing and dancing to "Rising Sun" by TVXQ, with TVXQ!

I am indeed aware that the performance is lip-synced, but by God, do you hear Sohee? Are you seeing this? Are we not seeing the boy band realness?

Please join me. I am so alone. If you are cool, fun, attractive, introverted, in college, autistic, and/or above the age of 30 you may like these guys.

1/10/2026 The "NCT #127 Neo Zone: The Final Round - The 2nd Album" Review (Part 3)

THIS COUNTS AS BEING POSTED ON THE NINTH... forgive me... I just came back from a performance of Hadestown...

 

"Love Me Now"

Although I know a ton of K-pop songs from the 2010s, I don't exactly know what was on the radio in Korea at the time. International fans' taste in K-pop is often different from that of the general South Korean public, and vice versa with South Korean fans of Western pop.  

All I can say is that this song is just everything that was on the radio from 2015 to 2020 in the U.S. and probably Britain. I have heard 700 variations of "Love Me Now" in my car, in the pharmacy, in YouTube hairdressing compilations. I have not, however, heard this kind of sound in 2010s K-pop too often. The songs I've listened to tend to have different stock chord progressions than the infamous "four chords" of Western pop. Again, though, I don't exactly know what was on the radio there at the time.

Isn't it strange that NCT 127, supposed kings of noise music, should be one of the groups that flirt with this sound the most? While not as aggressively basic as "Love Me Now", "Replay (PM 01:27)", which I have mentioned before, also follows this specific formula. 

I do think "Love Me Now" is as good as this kind of song can get, and not just because it's being sung by handsome young men. Perhaps someone who knows Korean can attest to the quality of the lyrics - which by the way is a huge factor I unfortunately have to ignore in most of these reviews since... well... I don't know Korean. I can, however, judge the memorability of the melody, and I for one think on that point it's decent.

Make no mistake: this song should not have been on the album. But I'm doing a little dance in my kitchen to it, so perhaps I can forgive it.

How would I feel if someone told me this was their favorite NCT song? Be fucking serious.

 

"Love Song"

Here's something more relistenable!! I like the simple plane this instrumental sets out for 127 to dance all over with their lovely voices. The melody of the chorus is relatively straightforward rhythmically, leaving room to meander a little. Raps are pretty good. 

I get giddy when it comes on shuffle. You could say I "Love" this "Song".

How would I feel if someone told me this was their favorite NCT song? Joyous! Someone knows ball!

 

"White Night"

I recall one of the reasons I respect this song being how it has nostalgic elements (synth, trumpet, etc.), but does not fully commit to a particular aesthetic. I'm thinking of songs like "The End of the Day" by RIIZE, which is a purposeful emulation of an early K-pop ballad in almost every way, and 127's later "Magic Carpet Ride", which also takes on a 2000s sound. These are both beautiful songs, but I like this song's earnestness and confidence in itself.  

Beautiful melodies beautifully sung. I love Taeyong's part with my whole heart, and I love how the climax of the song simply flows into the final chorus. 

How would I feel if someone told me this was their favorite NCT song? Yippee!!!

https://x.com/haechstarr/status/2009669338681520206?s=20 

"Not Alone"

is the anthem of Ncity, to me. I have to put my hand to my heart whenever I hear the chorus. I like it when pop songs have a good bass to hold them down, a good system of roots. The sweet earnestness in Doyoung's voice is one of those roots.

I can never really know how the lyrics come off to a Korean speaker., as there have been many pop songs with deep emotional meanings that have been expressed in cliche ways. The translated lyrics to this song, however, made me emotional. Man, we're all on a neverending journey together, aren't we?

Though not the most original, or the most well-made, song on this album, I'd consider it the best. 

How would I feel if someone told me this was their favorite NCT song? YAY!!!!

 

"Dreams Come True"

Bright, nostalgic, catchy, fun. Someone ought to have told Doyoung that he sounds like he's singing "I'mma pee :D" when he sings "I'm happy".

The last thing I want to do in this review is be overly complementary - I've already been admittedly biased, but I still want to be honest. I can find little to gripe about in this song, though. I even feel the raps are well-suited, which is an opinion not everyone will share. I adore the piano part - I love the melody - I love its steadiness, its refusal to really build up to something (even the high note takes place out of the blue), which gives it a sunny feeling.

How would I feel if someone told me this was their favorite NCT song? I'd probably assume they were a 2020 NCTzen specifically.

"Elevator 127"

This was the opener of the original Neo Zone album, and it takes on such a different vibe as a closer!

The sheer 2020-ness of the beat (very "Levitating" by Dua Lipa) should put it in the same outdated category as "Love Me Now", but "Elevator 127" is composed much more thoughtfully. God, I just love a good melody. The gentle, almost melancholy way the prechorus melody descends pleases me very much.

How would I feel if someone told me this was their favorite NCT song? I wouldn't begrudge them, but I would be a bit confused, as NCT does have much more to offer.

 

Kiss me on the mouth. Thanks for coming on this journey with me. Leave your thoughts in the comments below.